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Who else uses Express Commission?

In September 2010 Express Commission provides commission advance s to leading residential, commercial, and industrial real estate agencies and business brokers across Australia.

Our clients are based in every state of Australia and include both independent agencies and members of Australia’s most successful real estate groups including:

  • Barry Plant
  • Biggin & Scott
  • Brock Harcourts
  • Century 21 
  • Coldwell Banker
  • First National
  • Harcourts
  • Elders    
  • Hocking Stuart
  • irean independent agency network
  • LJ Hooker
  • Laing & Simmons
  • Professionals
  • Pro-Active Real Estate
  • PRD Nationwide
  • Raine & Horne
  • Ray White
  • Realway
  • Re/ MAX
  • Richardson & Wrench
  • Stockdale & Leggo
Express Agent News
3 Jun 2009 issue

Selected article shown below. See all articles for this issue.

June Express Comedy

A Frog, A Rat, And A Hollywood Agent...

A drunk walks up to a barman one day and says, "If I show you a trick will you give me a free drink?" The Barkeep says, "Depends on how good of a trick it is."

The Drunk reaches into his pocket and pulls out a frog and places him behind the piano. The frog starts to play the sweetest jazz riff the barkeeper has ever heard. He pours the drunk his drink.

The drunk, after killing his drink says, "If I show you another trick can I have another free one?" The barkeep says, "If it is anything like that last one, you can drink free all night." The drunk reaches into his other pocket, pulls out a rat, sets it on top of the piano, and the rat starts scatting along with the frog."

Impressed, the barkeeper starts to pour drinks as fast as the drunk can drink 'em. After several hours, a big time Hollywood agent walks in, sees the act and franticaly asks the barkeeper who it belongs to. The barkeeper points to the drunk who is passed out on the floor.

The agent wakes him up and says, "I will give you a million dollars for that act." The drunk replies, "Sorry, not for sale". The agent says, "Okay, a hundred grand for just the scatting rat." The drunk thinks for a moment and finally replies, "You got yourself a deal." The agent writes the check and leaves with the rat.

The barkeeper, astonished, looks at the drunk and exclaims, "Are you nuts? You had a million dollar act that you just broke up for a whimpy hundred grand?"

To which the drunk replies:

"Relax, the frog is a ventriliquist."

 

Where You Headed?

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."

The driver replied, "It's okay, thats not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

 

Do you have any feedback on this article or ideas for a topic that you would like us to cover in future editions?

Email us at admin@expresscommission.com.au